Athletes, we all know addiction and recovery can cause struggles and problems in any kind of relationship. Gifting trust, facing insecurities and having the courage to even involve themselves in a new relationship can be downright terrifying because of past experiences.
I work with many individuals who feel like they cannot obtain a relationship with a healthy individual because of their past. This is simply not true. It begs the question, how much are you worth?
Indeed Athletes there is an acceptance of risk here. Despite a host of emotional barriers to risk, the high net worth within you remains vulnerable if you are unwilling to get, make and believe in an emotional appraisal. To obtain your emotional appraisal, you need not look far as you are the individual that determines the worth you possess. The challenge is expecting an unbiased representation of oneself, not allowing you to appraise to low nor putting yourself out of reach. More often than not individuals mark themselves down so the thought of having a healthy relationship seems out of reach. Thoughts of who would want an individual with such baggage, who would build a relationship with me having (blank #) of children, The excuses go on and on. The reality is it is a privilege to have a relationship with you, not a right.
It almost seems narcissistic or proud yet what you need to understand is, fishing in the same pool expecting different fish to be reeled in is simply a fantasy. No one, and I mean no one should dumb themselves down to the point where they establish relationships with the same individuals that helped contribute to their addiction and downfall. Again, it’s a privilege to have a relationship with you, not a right. We simply do not settle. If someone wants to develop a relationship with us, they must rise to a higher level. We set the boundaries that they adhere to or, they kick rocks.
Those falling into this category are likely to understand the value they possess which in turn will automatically put them out of reach of the negative, abusing, lying and manipulating individuals that seem to be stuck in addiction.
It is so important for you to have healthy expectations in your relationships during the recovery process. Healthy relationships in recovery should have open communication and honesty from both sides. One person may not understand the feelings or thoughts behind the person going through recovery. They may not understand how to communicate their problems with the other person in the most proper and healthy way. When healthy expectations are set in place upfront there will be fewer chances to become hurt.
Just like our main man Kenny Rogers, you also need to know when it’s time to walk away, and to know when to run. If you begin to have similar issues to those you have seen and experienced in the past, it may be best to simply walk. Withdrawing from a relationship can actually save you from unwanted stress and future problems, that is if you notice the writing on the wall. If you choose to stay the course and attempt to navigate the relationship, understand dealing with this stress can and will create a greater chance of relapse.
As we have seen on the team and elsewhere, your relationships can have positive and negative effects on your physical, mental/emotional, and social health. Healthy relationships are based on shared values and interests and mutual respect. You are naturally drawn to those who encourage and support your own best qualities. A healthy relationship is one in which both people benefit and feel comfortable.
Remember Athletes, it’s a privilege to have a relationship with you, not a right!